Active English

http://activeseniormates.ning.com/profiles/blogs/do-you-dance-i-hope-you-dance

I have always done the things I wanted to do in my life, or tried to do as many of the things I wanted to do.

My father was always saying,” If I had done that I would now have or be
this…” and this was to have a great impact on my life. One day I
looked at his life, and thought, ‘There is me in 20 years time…”
So, I looked at the things I needed to change in my life, and changed them…starting with my marriage.

I dissolved the negating marriage, I returned to study at University,
and upgrade my Teaching and my other qualifications, I started painting
and drawing again, I joined the Army Reserve, and I joined the groups I
wanted to. I was a member of Toastmasters, Rotary, Penguins and Quot
Quotta. I also joined the Australian College of Education and
Educational Researchers, and started using my best Waterford Crystal,
(which I bought one each pay), and I started buying upmarket labels,
french perfumes, and giving myself things I had previously said I could
not afford, and doing things like having weekends away and going out
dancing and sailing and eventually learning to fly.

I still join what I want to join, start what I want to start, and work
and play to the best of my desire and ability, and I have had, and am
having a rich and full life. It is simply giving up your fear of
thinking you are not entitled to the best, and settling for second best
in life, that keeps so many of us afraid to venture outside known
limits.

I am writing this because there are so many readers here who want to do
something new with their lives and do not know how to do it….Start
like the lady here…start using your best things and treating
yourself, and taking some responsibility to care for yourself as well
as others.

‘I Hope You Dance… ‘
This was written by an 83-year-old woman to her friend. *The last line says it all. *

Dear Bertha,

I’m reading more and dusting less. I’m sitting in the yard and admiring
the view without fussing about the weeds in the garden. I’m spending
more time with my family and friends and less time working.

Whenever possible, life should be a pattern of experiences to savor,
not to endure. I’m trying to recognize these moments now and cherish
them.

I’m not “saving” anything; we use our good china and crystal for every
special event such as losing a pound, getting the sink unstopped, or
the first Amaryllis blossom.

I wear my good blazer to the market. My theory is if I look prosperous,
I can shell out $28.49 for one small bag of groceries. I’m not saving
my good perfume for special parties, but wearing it for clerks in the
hardware store and tellers at the bank.

“Someday” and “one of these days” are losing their grip on my
vocabulary. If it’s worth seeing or hearing or doing, I want to see and
hear and do it now.

I’m not sure what others would’ve done had they known they wouldn’t be
here for the tomorrow that we all take for granted. I think they would
have called family members and a few close friends. They might have
called a few former friends to apologize and mend fences for past
squabbles. I like to think they would have gone out for a Chinese
dinner or for whatever their favorite food was.

I’m guessing; I’ll never know.

It’s those little things left undone that would make me angry if I knew
my hours were limited. Angry because I hadn’t written certain letters
that I intended to write one of these days. Angry and sorry that I
didn’t tell my husband and parents often enough how much I truly love
them. I’m trying very hard not to put off, hold back, or save anything
that would add laughter and luster to our lives. And every morning when
I open my eyes, I tell myself that it is special.

“People say true friends must always hold hands, but true friends don’t
need to hold hands because they know the other hand will always be
there.”

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

……………………………………………………………………………………………….

Why am I bringing back an old message?

I am talking this because it has still a message for us all….. Not
only are we not living the lives we want to live, we are also negating,
and being envious of others, who choose to live the life they want to
live. Wasted energy when it can be used to laugh and smile and enjoy
what the day has brought.

On Christmas Day, again I was shown that my life is still one that is envied by others. The statement that ‘You think you are better than other people’ halted me in my preparations for a Christmas Feast.
I took this to mean that the things I am doing are threatening
another’s security. I had forgotten in my delight of giving and living,
that others see this in a different light to me. Enjoying life, and
using skills and experiences, are seen as being better than others, by
someone enjoying the very skills that are so freely given and shared,
not as charity, but with love and enthusiasm.

By all means Dance when you hear the Music, but why feel lessened by
the energy and joy of another, when you can be strengthened and
motivated too, and also choose to dance, or just sit and watch. Why
waste energy negating the pleasure of another and others? Join in, or go away.

In life it is futile to expect to be liked, admired, respected or even accepted by everyone.

We are drawn irresistibly towards some people. I read blogs, (Rooster
and Tom, and Science) I read others and click delete. Looking at the
reasons we are attracted, is also interesting, as the reasons
invariably tells us about ourselves and our perception of our own
person. I always turn away from bad language, and what I see as ’smutty
talk’, even if the content is good. We keep what we wish to keep, and
discard that which we do not wish to keep, or that which threatens or
challenges us in some way. Making your life as you choose, is not
always acceptable to other people. They
see using the best China and crystal, on a lace cloth, for your single
breakfast, as you thinking you are too good to eat off a chipped plate
or drink from a plastic mug.

This is not ‘thinking you are better than other people’…it is
realizing that you are entitled to enjoy life. I do not enjoy people
who cannot write without swearing or crudities . I do not delete bad language because I speak better, I delete it because I do not enjoy listening or reading it.
I find bad language intimidating and even distasteful, as I find rude
people scary and not enjoyable. I am not claiming I am better than
them, just that I do not wish the association. That is my choice, as it
is yours to swear and shout and use crude humor.

Most of us have a slice of life handed to us on a platter. Some of us
decide we want a better platter than what we were served, and work to
improve the serving….Nobody has to live in a way they do not want to
live.

When I was in my own Florist Shop, I had an advertisement for staff at
the local CES, who sent down people for job interviews. They had to
attend, to collect the unemployment, and were open about not wanting a
job. When I was a young mother, I was working in a hotel at weekends to
cover living costs. I had a boyfriend at the time, Steve, who was
constantly trying to borrow money from me. When I told him there was
work at the Hotel for him too, his reply, ‘Oh I couldn’t work in a pub,
that’s below me and not socially acceptable…..” but he could try and
borrow the money that I earned working at a pub. That he considered
socially acceptable.

Life is full of opportunities and chances. You have give yourself what
you want in life. You may be lucky to find someone else to pay your
way, but not all of us are able to do that. Today we are more
independent and free to make our own decisions.

Don’t be like my Father, who was born with a golden platter, fell in
love with someone who always envied him his background, and though
married into it, would never accept what he was born to be and have. He
died a sad and lonely man always saying, “if I had done this I would
have been this” and still claiming undying love for my Mother

I may die alone too, because I chose to do what I believed I wanted and am, but unlike my father, I know that it is always in my power to create what I want in life.
I will never stay with someone because they chain me with marriage, and
my own love for them. I will also never stay in a job that expects me
to not use my skills and talents, because other people feel threatened
by what I do. Many of us stay in useless and unhappy jobs because we
are afraid we may not find another. Work is there if you want to find
it, and you can always start your own work too.

My life is good china and crystal glasses, expensive wholemeal bread,
french perfume and freshly ground coffee beans. My life is Labels, and
real diamonds and fur, and traveling where I want to go and spending
time with real people, those I wish to spend time with.

I live for the present, and if that is seen as ‘thinking I am better
than other people’, then maybe I am better than the person who thinks
that I am not entitled to have what I have. Its all in the
perception…you are what you see yourself as, and you are as other
people see you.

Maybe there is a third view too..the person you really are, as God sees
you. I cannot see with God’s eyes, simply with my own, and sometimes
through your eyes too.

Life is not meant to be easy, but it is not meant to be hard either You lie on the bed you make…so why make it uncomfortable.

Do you dance???

Maggi Carstairs 2008